I guess I'm dating...

I mean, that's what it feels like. I don't have tons and tons of experience with the "dating" thing outside of high school type dating. I went from the high school dating thing to a solid relationship in my senior year and then into college, still in the high school relationship. I broke up with my high school sweetheart for a girl in college and was with her until December of 2004. So, yeah, I haven't "dated" as an adult until now.

Things are still all over the place. I'm working on keeping my life together and have recently been finding a lack of romance in the parts of my life that are holding together. So I've been out a few time with a girl i've met. She's awesome. We have a great time. I was completely up front with her when we first went out somewhere and it felt like more than a casual date, like that undertone of other things brewing, whether on both sides or one side of the viewpoint. I told her, fairly point-blank, that I didn't want any commitment. She understands, and we're hanging out and enjoying ourselves, with all our cards on the table.

That is landmark for me. I've never casually dated anyone. I've never been in the situation where I was the one saying "I don't want any commitment". It's a lot of fun and I think, as long as honesty is maintained, it will be all good.

Did I mention the sex is great? Did I have to? Well since it's called SEXUAL Zen, I suppose I should. I've discovered a lot about myself because of my recent "dating" experiences. I've discovered things I can do, and more things that are true of women concerning ways to make them do what I love the most...cum. The exploration is both fun (it is sex after all) and also very enlightening to me. I'm so attuned to my own sexuality that expressing it in a new situation has helped me, I think and hope, to become a better lover.

The amusing thing, to me, in all of this is that I STILL have "grass is greener" syndrome. There is someone else I'd love to...well let's be honest, I'd love to have an intimate evening with good food, good laughs and lots and lots of orgasms. I'm not sure how to approach the situation though. I'm a blunt person and would just love to come right out with "Let's have a great evening, just you and me, and then fuck until we pass out." The problem is, i'm not sure if she's even remotely attracted to me. We've spent time together and I've always gotten a good vibe from her concerning the "hanging out". I'm just not quite confident enough to assume that she would be attracted to me. I need to know and have no way of verifying without asking directly. So do I ask directly? Does it ruin things? I'm unsure of how to proceed. I've flirted, I've given compliments, I've attempted to, in a more jocular way, express my interest in her. Nothing has come to pass. What ever should i do dear reader? What is your opinion of my plight?

Location, location location

I've mentioned, previously, about location (the movie theater) when it comes to all sorts of sexual encounter. There are so many places that aren't the bedroom, or the bed. I think it's important to have sex in a variety of places. I think the originality of the place helps so much with the passion and the overall excitement of the moment. Even the kitchen floor can be exciting if it's spontaneous.

I've talked to people, in recent history, about that very thing. One point that was brough up was the comfort level. This person was saying that she didn't enjoy exotic places for sexual encounters because they were usually uncomfortable. She sited the bathroom counter, a hard wood floor and the back of a car. I was amazed.

To me, it's worth a little pain, a few bruises. It's worth it because, if the excitement, the passion, the pure physical enjoyment is high enough, then the pain will be nothing more than a reminder later. Exotic requires a bit more tolerance, a little more stamina on the participant's part i suppose.

I long for the girl that says "Let's fuck on the couch today hunny." one day and is dragging me to the back yard, under the apple trees while the sun is setting. Neighbors? Eh, let em watch. I may not be an exhibitionist but there aren't too many things that would pull me away from a woman insisting that I pleasure her in some strange location.

Also, ladies. Invest in skirts. Forget the underwear. Guys, bring the protection, wear the boxers and fuck outside, inside, in the library bathroom, at your parent's house, at work. We need more passion, we need more spontaneity. A great many things can make it exciting, but, as the saying goes...location, location location is the key.

Just A Hint

What is it about the first time you kiss someone. It doesn't matter how small or insignificant it may be. It could be the most ridiculous third grade peck on the cheek and it somehow changes you.

I think it makes you progressive. It makes you think about the next step and then the next. It's the ultimate catalyst to a long list of maybes and let's hope so. That's the concept behind sexy clothing too. When women wear something that's considered sexy, it's because it's a tease. It's letting us see without seeing. A brief hint of skin or the curve of a thigh in a particularly tight pair of jeans. It's the midriff shirt, showing the belly, whispering to us that there is more there, more to see and explore if we're allowed.

Just a hint and my mind is reeling through possibility and excitement. So, dear reader, do you have moments like that? Women, is it the same with men? different? Do you think it's learned or do women just know how to hint? I await the gale force of this zen.

Amateur

I'm intrigued by amateur adult entertainment. I guess, in every day speak, you could say I like amateur girls having sex. I hadn't really thought about this direct concept until recently. I was having a conversation about porn with someone and they asked me who my favorite porn star was. I couldn't come up with one.

Let's be clear, though. I came up with plenty of names of porn stars. Jesse Jane, Devon, Chasey Lane, Jenna Jameson, Briana Banks, Savannah Samson. None of them, though, "do it" for me. I like the idea of real girls (meaning, not doing this for a living) having real sex (meaning they dont wind up in positions most girls would laugh at when proposed) and possibly having real orgasms. I realize that its still possible to have girls "faking it" but it's certainly a better chance with amateurs, especially if they're doing the scene with their boyfriends.

There are plenty of sites for the amateur side of things as well. It used to be that the quality of amateur video was so bad, it wasn't even worth it. Nowadays though, with miniDV and cheap cameras and editing equipment, it's possible to actually get very quality stuff from production "companies" with very little budget. This is why websites like Mike's Apartment exist at all.

I still say I'd love to get into shooting scenes for people. I think, with my background and knowing the things I don't like about the adult video i've seen, I could make a hell of a scene or 2 or 3.

Now I just need to find the talent.

All Night

I envy the women of the world. I envy them for the ability to have so much more sex in one evening than a guy. Even a guy who can get it functioning more than once per evening can't possibly have more orgasms than a woman.

It's like some perfect cosmic plan that the men get the "tool" to use and the women get the ability to use it. And some women use it and use it and use it. I say good for them. I say fuck all night, work all day and repeat.

This is a call to all the men though. A call to say, we need to be prepared. The women want us to be do them right boys! Now is the time to figure it out. Make 'em scream and they might even let you do it again. Make 'em cry and you might as well buy Neverland Ranch from Mr. Jackson.

This is my call to action. It's time for men to fuck better.