X Marks The Spot

Well, I guess it's not an X. More like a strangely lip shaped spot. Those marks we discovered when we were still young. Those marks that said "_____ was here." I love the idea of the hickey. The strangeness of the word alone is amusing. I do love it though, the entire concept of slightest pain and lasting marks makes me smile.

For some it's laying claim. For others it's a turn on. For others it's just a by product of overactive teeth during a rigorous sexual encounter. Regardless of the reason, I think they're fun. Juvenile, yes. Fun, yes. Like so many things, I don't need to be adult about teasing my friends if they have a very obvious hickey. If anything, it's fun to revisit that time when you were young and it meant so much more than it does now, in our ancient twenties.

Sound Off

There are so many types of sounds that we humans make during the day. Some of the more interesting ones are those we make during sex, masturbation or other types of over-stimulation. I'm a noisy person, in general. I'm a vocal person in bed. I make noise. I don't scream and talk non-stop, nor do i grunt or huff like an animal. I just make noise. They're communication noises. Things to let my partner know what's up, what's good, what's bad, what's driving me crazy.

I've been with women who are the same, noisy. I've been with women who are talkative. That's fun, but after a while, concentration becomes difficult. I've been with extremely quiet, barely a moan save for the moment of O. That's disconcerting and my ego worries if I'm doin ok. I want to hear, I just don't want to hear a dissertation, ya know? Talking is fun, lecturing or babbling (unless it's incoherent due to extreme orgasm) is a little bit more than expected.

So what do you think? Are you, dear reader, a talker? a silent rider? a mix of both? does it depend on the mood or the moon or the person you're with? Enlighten me, I can feel the sexual zen from here.

Pain and Pleasure

I've always been interested in the pain aspect of sex. Not that I like it all, but the concept intrigues me. I can understand a little tweak to stimulate here and there. But some people enjoy much more than that. I love it. I love to see a person enjoy themselves, and if the pain of being, for instance, spanked, can cause them pleasure...then more power to them.

I have also noticed that while that kind of physical, stimulatory pain may arouse the senses and the sex drive, the internal sickness kind of pain does the opposite. I cannot imagine feeling stomach pain or other types of internal pain and being aroused by it in any way.

Random thought...obvious statement of the evening. How will you ever forgive me?

Moved

Sexual Zen has moved here! We didn't go far, just to our own domain. So please update your links and bookmarks for the following:

http://www.sexualzen.net

Also, this site may be down for a few days. I am upgrading my services and the server needs to be taken offline while my hosting company does the upgrade. Stay Tuned!! We'll be back soon!!

Star Wars Phallacy

Why oh why is that planet in Star Wars (I think it's called Tatooine) full of phallic symbols. Every ship, every building, everything in every scene that takes place in that locale is phallic.

One of two things is going on. Either the designer didn't pay attention to the fact that they were filling their planet with huge penis-like objects, or I'm just noticing something that isn't really that obvious to most people, unless their mind lives in the gutter like mine does.

Anyone agree, or do you all just think i've got phallic on the brain?

Post-Feminism

After the brief feminist stint, I thought I would take the other side for a moment to talk about something. I love the blow job. I'm sure most guys (I won't say all, since I know some that don't.) enjoy a woman(or possibly a man) using their mouth in more interesting ways than just speaking and smiling. I'm also coming to find that there are women in the world that do not mind and some who actually enjoy the act of the blow job. Thank God or whoever for fellatio.

I cannot explain the factors involved in the male psyche that make that particular sexual escapade so intriguing. I know, for me, it strikes a number of chords. One is how sexy someone looks while in the midst of the act. The concentration on the face, sometimes the eyes glancing up. It's enough to drive any man nuts. I know there is more too it than that, but it doesn't matter.

I'll break the mold of my post title for a second to say that I, personally, enjoy performing oral sex on women. I know not all guys are actual fans of the act, but I do like it. The key, guys everywhere that aren't reading this, is to not be too rough, hit the right spot and repeat. A little helping "hand" couldn't hurt either. Learn to pleasure your partner the right way. They're worth it.

Libido

I have a libido. Actually, according to some scientist types, we all do. The amazing thing is the wide variety of libido throughout the human world. We all have a level of "satisfied" when it comes to sex. Our drives all differ. To say my drive is high would be fairly accurate. I have a lot of libido. It's nice to know that some girls do too.

I think that, growing up, we (as males) were trained by society to think that a girl with a libido was a slut. Then would I not, also, qualify as a slut? I want to have sex a lot. What's the difference? I know the double standard exists, I just find it overly ridiculous.

I guess I'm saying that we're all different, we're all made up of different pieces. One of those is our sex drive. It's part of what makes us alive. To denounce that drive in others because they don't fit some utopian, puritanical mold is just plain ignorant. So i'm the guy on the feminist soap box tonight. Don't worry, I've been in stranger places.

So to close this I need to quote two of the more profound female artists of our time...Salt and Pepa.

"If I wanna take a guy home with me tonight
It's none of your business
And she wanna be a freak and sell it on the weekend
It's none of your business"

Global Positioning

I was reading something the other day about sexual positions. It wasn't the Kama Sutra or anything, just an article. One of the focuses of the article was a study done somewhere in Europe (figures) that tried to find out what the most used sexual position was and also what, according to participants, was the most comfortable position.

I'm intrigued by the result. It seems that Missionary is the most used position. I guess that makes sense. The interesting part is that Doggie style is second on the list. That surprised me. I would think something like Girl On Top would rank higher than Doggie. I'm not saying I don't like that position. Hell, I love it as much as the next guy. But it just struck me as odd that that would be next on the list.

Then the most comfortable. That made sense. It was Girl On Top. Though, having been the bottom of that position a number of times, I wonder if the knees and thighs don't hurt after a while. I would think Missionary would be more comfortable for a woman.

I just thought the whole thing was interesting considering that I usually don't think of how common a position is while I'm in it. I'm usually just concentrating, or admiring my partner.

So my question is, dear reader, what do you think of those answers and where do you prefer your lover? I'm curious. I'll even share my own if you ask nice. But for now I have to return to work.

National Masturbation Day

Can you say "awesome holiday?" Perfect reason to get up late on a Saturday. I hope everyone's Masturbation Day is a good one. From all your friends at Sexual Zen...

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

Sex Type Thing

So I was spending some time at a very intriguing bar/lounge type place last night. As I was driving home I was thinking about the multiple comments, recently, concerning the "type" of woman I am interested in. The problem is, I don't think I have a type in the traditional sense of the idea. I have more of a basic outline of personality/looks that I am attracted to.

They have to have these few things for me to think them attractive:
- A great smile.
- A genuine personality
- A love of life
- A sparkle in the eyes

Other than that, as far as looks go...I'm the "girl next door" type of guy. I am attracted to all shapes and sizes but the women that make me turn a head are usually those GND's. The simple beauty. It makes me smile to just sitting here, thinking.

Fragile

One of my more favorite websites is called DeviantArt. I love it there. I have found I can browse through the plethora of talented artists in all mediums, from photos to 3D renderings, for hours at a time. I love stumbling across the pictures that take my breath away.
Last time I was there I happened upon neeta's deviations. She is extremely talented and I was an instant fan.

Fragile by neeta

Sex Project

Masturbation is cool. The ability to please oneself without the need for another person is somehow liberating. It can also be lonely. I've never thought of masturbation as a replacement for sex. I could have 10 orgasms in one day, all self-created, and still be horny. I'm assuming the same is true in the female population. There is just a difference between masturbation and actual partner-type sex.

My new favorite website for all things sex is The Sex Project. I'm impressed by the amount of information contained there and have been enjoying the read as I systematically devour all of the info on the website.

As I've been perusing the site I've found some things I didn't know (especially about the more intricate parts of the female anatomy, proving once again that women are fucking amazing.) and about multiple male orgasm. I'm intrigued (shouldn't I be?) by the concept.

I'm also intrigued by the Kama Sutra stuff. I've gone through a number of "positions" in my day and I still know there are so many more. That's something about masturbation...No multiple positions really. Not like the butterfly, or missionary or reverse cowgirl.

I've always wanted to find someone to have sex with and explore all the options. I guess you could call them a "fuck buddy" but it's really more than that. It's a partner in crime, a partner in pleasure. Someone to explore the sexual horizons that exist in this hetero world I live in. I think it would be fun to find someone to have my sex project with. Not a relationship, not necessarily. Like someone that you'd go play tennis with, or work out with. Someone to have sex with, to help it be better, to have fun and just enjoy the ability for a man and woman to experience such pleasure while with each other.

There have been times where I've had the opportunity to "play" with more than one person at a time (not many opportunities, but some) and it's been awesome. The "threesome" is an aspect of sex that exists all on it's own. I've loved it, it's been fun and a learning experience with every time. I'll never pass it up, especially if it's with people i care about. But there is something about one-on-one encounters that separate them from the multiple partner experience. Both are amazing. I'm just still looking for that woman who will play with me, challenge me, and in the process enjoy herself immensely.

I realize that's a fantasy. It's a porn movie waiting to happen. I've never thought of it like that though. I've always thought of it like my "sex project". It's been a thought for a long time. Not just when I'm single, not just when I'm horny. I'm a very sexual person. Sexual and curious, even wih my purity score where it is, I'm still curious, still intrigued. I hope that never changes.

So until the one-on-one field research begins, i'll just have to keep on with the reading and the studying. I'll let you know if I come across anything interesting.

Honest

I've always hoped that honesty could transcend those typical ideals and also include sex. I know few people who are honest about their sex lives with their sexual partners. Those I do know in that situation say that they have both benefitted from the ability to be honest.

Let's face it, being honest in bed isn't something women are trained to do. They're trained to lie and say it was "great" and fake the orgasms just to appease the guys of the world. Don't want to bruise any egos. But I see no harm and nothing but good in some good ol' honesty in the sack. If it works in everyday life (it does, though sometimes it's the bumpier road) then why not work for sex.

I've had the best sexual relationships with women who were willing to say "no no, do this" or "yes, but not so hard". That, to me, is better than a manual. That's verbal step by step instructions towards her ultimate pleasure. Excellent. But it takes being comfortable with someone, often, to get there in a sexual relationship. More than that, it takes getting comfortable with yourself.

I'm not perfect, not super fit or perfectly thin. But I am comfortable with myself in a sexual situation. I'm not shy about my body, I know it's not perfect, but I also know it works. A woman in that same category makes for amazing experiences. I know there are women out there that are comfortable with their bodies and their beauty, I just hope, someday, there will be more.

Be comfortable and honest. Let us know what we're doing, how we're doing. If it was bad (and the relationship extends past just the sex) then tell us we weren't great and help us to make it better. Everyone is different, and just because someone has experience, doesn't make them a master in the sack with EVERY woman (we could only wish for such luck.) And those men that are even worth the time to invest in will see your suggestions as positive things. Won't take a blow to the ego and double over in prideful pain. They'll just try harder, try different and work on it until they get it right.

Just a random thought from a late night, slighly-unsober guy who thinks about fucking when he's driving home, driving to work, driving to the gas station, in bed, taking a shower...etc... And so the post, and the honesty and the hopes that somewhere a girl is reading this and agreeing.

Big Fan

I realize i've been neglecting the lighter side of my blogging experience. I apologize to those of you that actually check my blog. I know there are a few, and thank you for your eyes, your opinions. On to the matter at hand...

Sex intrigues the shit out of me. There is no other way to describe it. I am not just a fan. Most guys are fans, as are quite a few girls. There are people that like a band. They go to the concerts, listen to the CDs, might even have a poster or a sticker on their car. The DMB or the dancing bear or the deeply disturbing and somehow eerily beautiful Slipknot symbol. That's how most people like sex.

Then there are the people that are more than fans. They define parts of their lives through the music they listen to. They have the posters and they go to the shows. But they go to the shows and get front row seats. They buy all the CDs but also have a large collection of live, unreleased recordings done by some guy from Amsterdam with a 5000 dollar microphone, and a direct feed from the central sound board. They know the band member's names, their wives names, their dog's names and their favorite foods. They have a deep knowledge and understanding of every lyric in every song and strive to know as much as possible about their origins. That's how I feel about sex.

So I have actually found myself doing research. Studying things about this primal yet extremely complex act that we all, for the most part, partake of. Not every moment is sex. I work, I play, my life functions in a very standard vein. I still read, and study and try and understand the complextie. I've always been intrigued. It's not a recent thing and there is no "kink" that goes along with it. I've tried many things, in many categories and am usually open to trying new things.

All that being said, I will go on record as saying that the most important thing, to me, when it comes to sex, is mutual enjoyment. My favorite thing in the world is for my partner to enjoy themselves. I enjoy myself when they enjoy themselves. I've been told that's a little strange coming from a guy. If there is anything overly atypical about me, it's my attitudes about sex.

What do you think, dear readers? Is sex as intriguing to you as it is to me? Is it more than a 5 minute burst of endorphins and primal instinct? When it comes to the art of sex beyond the basic, overly-typical missionary action, I'm a big fan.