I guess I'm dating...

I mean, that's what it feels like. I don't have tons and tons of experience with the "dating" thing outside of high school type dating. I went from the high school dating thing to a solid relationship in my senior year and then into college, still in the high school relationship. I broke up with my high school sweetheart for a girl in college and was with her until December of 2004. So, yeah, I haven't "dated" as an adult until now.

Things are still all over the place. I'm working on keeping my life together and have recently been finding a lack of romance in the parts of my life that are holding together. So I've been out a few time with a girl i've met. She's awesome. We have a great time. I was completely up front with her when we first went out somewhere and it felt like more than a casual date, like that undertone of other things brewing, whether on both sides or one side of the viewpoint. I told her, fairly point-blank, that I didn't want any commitment. She understands, and we're hanging out and enjoying ourselves, with all our cards on the table.

That is landmark for me. I've never casually dated anyone. I've never been in the situation where I was the one saying "I don't want any commitment". It's a lot of fun and I think, as long as honesty is maintained, it will be all good.

Did I mention the sex is great? Did I have to? Well since it's called SEXUAL Zen, I suppose I should. I've discovered a lot about myself because of my recent "dating" experiences. I've discovered things I can do, and more things that are true of women concerning ways to make them do what I love the most...cum. The exploration is both fun (it is sex after all) and also very enlightening to me. I'm so attuned to my own sexuality that expressing it in a new situation has helped me, I think and hope, to become a better lover.

The amusing thing, to me, in all of this is that I STILL have "grass is greener" syndrome. There is someone else I'd love to...well let's be honest, I'd love to have an intimate evening with good food, good laughs and lots and lots of orgasms. I'm not sure how to approach the situation though. I'm a blunt person and would just love to come right out with "Let's have a great evening, just you and me, and then fuck until we pass out." The problem is, i'm not sure if she's even remotely attracted to me. We've spent time together and I've always gotten a good vibe from her concerning the "hanging out". I'm just not quite confident enough to assume that she would be attracted to me. I need to know and have no way of verifying without asking directly. So do I ask directly? Does it ruin things? I'm unsure of how to proceed. I've flirted, I've given compliments, I've attempted to, in a more jocular way, express my interest in her. Nothing has come to pass. What ever should i do dear reader? What is your opinion of my plight?