Sexual Game Guide Pt. 1 - The BJ

After some discussions with people like The Fuz, and some recent good experiences, it's time to write my first sexual game guide. With a little help from the Fuz, here's a list and some info about how to give a "most excellent" blow job or BJ...get it?

1. You've Got Hands, Use Them -
Ladies, let's talk about your hands. I understand that the overall concept the way it's been explained to you is that the blow job is for the lips. I would like to re-examine that for a moment. The hands are a very useful addition to the lips during the process. They can be used, most effectively, as a simultaneous stimulator with the lips. Don't just grab on either ladies. In my own experience I've found the hand or hands to be excellent when stroking in conjuction and in simultaneous rhythm with the lips.
It adds a level of stimulus. It's also cool to take a break with the lips to catch your breath etc...and use the hands for a moment to keep the sensation going. Don't squeeze too hard! Also, in the department of hands, play with his balls. Don't squeeze those either!!

2. No Teeth, Usually -
This is an easy one. Unless otherwise specified ahead of time, do not use the teeth. Discuss it with your partner if you need to check, otherwise it's all about the soft parts of you that we like. We're simulating sex here people.

3. Eye Contact is Key -
Look your guy in the eye. Let him see you looking at him too. Let him see you in the midst of pleasuring him. We're visual animals, us guys. We need to SEE things as much as feel them.

4. Use Those Ridges -
A great point made by The Fuz during our conversation the other day involved using the tongue to push the head to the roof of the mouth and then rubbing there. Thus allowing the naturally ridgy yet still soft roof of your mouth to stimulate us further. I'd say that's a fantastic technique.

5. Yes, You ARE A Vacuum -
No, we're not saying you suck. We're asking if you will. According to numerous sources including The Fuz, it's all about the suction. Wrap those lips nice and tight and suck. The pressure along with the tongue and the Ridge technique will drive me or any guy crazy. Just don't make popping sounds. That's not sexy. :)

6. Pacing Is Everything -
This is something I know the ladies will understand. During actual intercourse we're always told that pacing is everything. We're told that we need to keep it up. We need to keep it constant, a steady stroke in the right place for our partner to be happy. The same applies as you're attempting to pleasure your man orally. The pacing can vary in the beginning stages, a little lick, or a tease etcetera. But when coming down to the cumming, it's all about the pacing and the consistency. As I said before, we're simulating sex!

7. Variations On A Theme -
Before the point that pacing is all important there is a whole list of fun things to do that we'll enjoy. I'm sure you've done some of them and if not, please, for our sake try them. Use that tongue and run from base to tip. Do the same thing with just your lips from the side instead of the top down. Stroke with your hands and tickle the head with your tongue. Just play, you'll hit one thing or another that your man will like and then you can repeat.

8. Spit, Swallow Or Let If Fly -
As a guy I understand if you don't want to swallow. The Fuz had an interesting question though. If you're going to let him stay in your mouth for the final moments, why not just swallow it? It's certainly less messy and sexier than the turn and spit technique. In that vein I have a suggestion. Ladies, if you don't want to swallow then let him finish somewhere on you. I, personally, enjoy that as an alternative and I know other guys are with me. Again, we're visual animals...we want to SEE!

A Couple Notes For The Guys
1. Keeping The Towel Handy -
Let's face it, this is a messy endeavor, especially considering the last thing we talked about. So guys, if you know that's where we're going that evening, or ladies if you're expecting that and even if you're expecting more than that, keep a towel handy. I mean, not just in the bathroom. Put one near the bed. Then there is no need to break the mood completely.

2. Cumming Considerately -
Guys, listen up. This and the next are very important. Remember that most girls aren't getting themselves off during this act. They're doing it for you and sometimes for the psychological enjoyment of it. The only physical pleasure they receive is if they're dealing with themselves at the same time as you. So let's be nice in a couple of key areas. The most important is this one. DO NOT unless otherwise specified ahead of time, grab your partner by the head and force them down on you as you finish. It's not polite, leads to gagging and is generally an uncomfortable situation. Sometimes, as I said, a partner will be ok with that and may ask for it. But DON'T assume that it's cool. A great majority of the time, it's not.

2. Just Kiss Him -
This one is for the guys but is directed at the ladies. We just had you perform for us. We had you pleasure us with no immediate recourse. You had to taste something that you may not love. So just kiss him. Don't hesitate because he doesn't like the taste and call him out if he hesitates for the same reason. What's good for you is good for him. If he gets the privelege of cumming in your mouth, he also gets the privelege of tasting himself. I'm not suggesting you save it for him, but don't let him pull the "I don't like the taste" routine with you. If he does, I'd consider that big marks against him. But that's your call in the end.

3. Asparagus Is A No No -
And finally, the taste issue. There is information out there about certain foods causing male ejaculate to taste different. The big no-no is always asparagus as it gives a sour taste. Other things like garlic and beets are also not good for the taste. Check out this article to get some more info about the taste.

That's it for now. Check back here in the next few days as I will be assembling the second part in the Sexual Game Guide series concerning oral sex with women, or "being a cunning linguist."

As always...
Stay zen, stay safe and keep on fuckin'.

Naughty

Finding ways to be with someone you wanted to do things other than talk with was a real pain in the ass when you were in high school. When you move back in with your parents temporarily after a long relationship, it becomes a pain all over again. Especially when one of the people you've been seeing is also living with other people. It makes the entire process of any sort of intimacy beyond a hug something of a game.

So the other night I came home with my someone and before she left, we ventured inside. The house i'm in echoes quite a bit, so we had to be very quiet. On the couch there was too much squeaking. We're both vocal people and it was hard enough to keep each other quiet without the couch adding it's commentary. At some point in the midst we decided to try the floor. It's hard to wordlessly communicate with a panting girl who has her full weight on you, but I did my best and we wound up on the floor.

The floor was better, but even there, too much moving around and the floor would shake enough to shake the china cabinet and the china would rattle. In the end we had more fun trying to NOT make noise than actually enjoying the physicality of the evening. Which was awesome. After a while, we decided she should go, since we did both have to work the next day (something 16 year olds wouldn't have worried about). We giggled all the way to the door.

It was a blast! Here I am, twenty something and "makin out" in my parent's living room, with them asleep in the other room. Some things never change.

And still I'm working on my "grass is greener syndrome". I'll keep you posted how that is going. And someone remind me to tell you about my experiences, recently, with meeting people online.

Until next time...stay zen, stay safe and keep on fuckin'.