Motion Picture Makeout Sessions

Did you ever "make out" in high school? Did you ever "make out" in the theater, during a movie? I can honestly say that I made out in a theater approximately one time.

Here's the problem, as I see it. Even in high school, in the midst of the chemical nuclear explosion known as puberty, I loved movies. My obsession was unmatched by most of my friends and most of my girlfriends as well. So when I went to a movie, I wanted to WATCH the movie. I liked making out, ok, I LOVED making out, but I didnt want to pay six bucks to see a movie and then not watch it. It was sacreligious to me in so many ways.

The one time I made out in a theater, I had gone to see a movie that I had already seen. So then, that's ok. I did pay to see a movie twice that I only actually saw once, but what the hell, the girl at the time was hot. The problem that arose was that said girl was extremely noisy. As we rounded the bases towards third (hey, if i'm making out in the theater, i'm getting somewhere dammit!) she was moaning. I mean, audibly, not quietly in my ear. After the fifth person turned around I had to stop. It wasn't embarassing, but it ruins the mood when some older person turns and glares in your direction, all parental and such.

A good friend of mine in high school agreed with the making out thing in movies. He had a solution though. See, he had a conversion van. You know, a big ass van that had a television and a back seat that pulled out into a double bed? His solution, which we both employed a few times, was to plan to go to a movie, drive to the movie theater, park, pull the shades on the windows (yes, it had shades) and make out until about the time the movie was letting out. Granted, it allowed for a lot more than making out as both he and I could attest.

So go watch the movie, make out later. If you are unlucky enough to not be able to drive yet, Make an older friend that can. If you have to make out in the theater, just try and be quiet. Or buy a conversion van.